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Home » We were never married: Groom’s bid to deny customary marriage fails in Limpopo High Court
Family Law

We were never married: Groom’s bid to deny customary marriage fails in Limpopo High Court

Judge finds lobola payment, family acceptance and church blessing proved marriage’s validity despite husband’s claims
Kennedy MudzuliBy Kennedy MudzuliAugust 12, 2025No Comments
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  • Husband argued there was no valid marriage because certain traditional customs, like the formal “handing over” of the bride, were incomplete. 
  • The court ruled that the lobola payment, exchange of gifts, and the church blessing with wedding bands satisfied the legal requirements for a customary marriage. 
  • With the marriage confirmed, the judge allowed the divorce case to proceed, ending the husband’s attempt to escape his marital obligations. 

A striking legal battle unfolded in Limpopo as a Mokopane man sought to deny his customary marriage, arguing that key cultural ceremonies were not properly completed.

Despite the couple’s longstanding relationship, which began in December 2013, and the formal steps taken by both families, the groom claimed no valid marriage existed. His main argument focused on the absence of a formal “handing over” ceremony, a customary rite traditionally seen as vital by many communities. 

However, the Limpopo High Court in Polokwane did not accept this narrow interpretation. Acting Judge MZ Makoti stressed that the law does not require the handing over to be an indispensable element if the families’ actions and intentions clearly indicate a valid marriage. 

Clear evidence of a valid customary marriage: Lobola, gifts, and public blessing 

The factual record before the court revealed a rich tapestry of customary practices and mutual acceptance. On 26 April 2016, the groom had sent a letter to the bride’s family proposing to initiate lobola talks, delivered by his mother. Just four days later, on 30 April 2016, both families met at Sekgapaneng Village, Mokopane, to formalise these negotiations. 

At this meeting, the groom’s family paid R10 000 as part of an agreed lobola sum of R25 000. They also presented traditional gifts in the form of two blankets, two cloths, and a tobacco container, all important symbols in customary marriage proceedings. After the negotiations, the groom’s family left with the bride, referring to her as their makoti, or daughter-in-law, a clear sign of acceptance and recognition. 

Further cementing this union was a church blessing ceremony held on 2 October 2016, attended by both families. During the service, the couple exchanged wedding bands, symbolising their commitment and sealing their marriage not only in customary terms but also in the eyes of their community and faith. 

Judge Makoti emphasised that such actions, especially the exchange of rings and church blessing, are strong, tangible evidence of a valid marriage, distinguishing this union from a mere engagement or informal relationship. 

What the law says about customary marriage validity 

Under South Africa’s Recognition of Customary Marriages Act, three key elements must be satisfied for a marriage to be valid: both parties must be over 18 and consent to the marriage, and the marriage must be negotiated and celebrated according to customary law. There was no dispute over the age or consent in this case. 

The heart of the dispute was whether the marriage had been properly celebrated according to custom. While the groom insisted that the absence of a formal “handing over” invalidated the marriage, the court relied on prior case law, including Tsambo v Sengadi, to clarify that the handing over, while important, is not the sole determinant of validity. 

Judge Makoti stated, “Calling the plaintiff ngwetši and blessing the union in church are clear indications that the families recognised the marriage.” He further noted, “If this was merely an engagement, there would have been no reason to exchange wedding bands.” 

Marriage confirmed, divorce proceedings to continue 

In light of the evidence and applicable law, the court confirmed the existence of a valid customary marriage between the parties. The groom’s attempt to sidestep his marital obligations by denying the marriage was firmly rejected. 

The judge granted the order allowing the divorce action to proceed, ensuring that the parties can now address the dissolution of their union with full recognition of their marital status. 

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Customary marriage divorce law Limpopo High Court Lobola Recognition of Customary Marriages Act
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Kennedy Mudzuli

Multiple award-winner with passion for news and training young journalists. Founder and editor of Conviction.co.za

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