- Mandla Sibeko has spent nine years living on the streets. He fled home after a false accusation from his stepmother led to a violent attack by his father that nearly cost him his life.
- Since then, his life has been defined by arrests, close calls with sexual assault, substance use, and a slow loss of his sense of self. Yet there is also loyalty and solidarity among the men he now calls family on the streets.
- This year, he is among those who will be honoured at BrosDoMatter’s sixth Christmas celebration, an event that seeks to restore dignity and give voice to men’s trauma.
For nine years, Mandla Sibeko has slept outside. At 42, his homelessness is not the result of choice or indifference, but the consequence of a family rupture marked by betrayal, violence and silence.
“I didn’t leave home because I wanted freedom,” Sibeko says quietly. “I left because if I stayed, I was going to die.” Originally from Mpumalanga, Sibeko no longer feels safe disclosing the exact place he once called home. His fear is rooted in events that unfolded after his mother passed away.
A woman moved into his late mother’s house with her three children and later became his stepmother. Sibeko says he later discovered that she had been his father’s girlfriend even before his mother died, a revelation that ignited deep resentment and hostility within the household.
Not long after, the stepmother accused Sibeko of raping her. He maintains the allegation was false and driven by revenge. “She wanted to destroy me,” he says. “When I spoke the truth about her, that’s when everything turned.”
The accusation had immediate and devastating consequences. Sibeko’s father, the family’s breadwinner and a man whose financial support others depended on, reacted with extreme violence and nearly killed him. Sibeko says his pleas of innocence were ignored, not because they were unbelievable, but because challenging his father carried financial consequences for the rest of the household.
“No one stood up for me,” he recalls. “People knew what was happening, but they were scared. My father was feeding everyone.” With no protection and nowhere to turn, Sibeko ran away from home.
Starting again after losing everything
Life on the streets has been unforgiving. Sibeko has been arrested multiple times, narrowly escaped sexual assault, and turned to drugs as a means of numbing constant hunger, fear and despair. “Out here, you are always on guard,” he says. “You sleep with one eye open because anything can happen.”
He speaks candidly about the way street life strips people of time and identity. One of his deepest pains, he says, is forgetting where his mother is buried. “That hurts me the most,” Sibeko says. “It feels like even my past has disappeared.”
Employment remains a distant hope. Years of surviving through recycling and other informal means have left him feeling disconnected from the expectations of formal work. “I don’t even know where to start anymore,” he admits. “I’ve been surviving day to day for too long.”
Yet amid the hardship, Sibeko speaks with warmth about the loyalty among people living on the streets. He values the solidarity of sharing food, watching over one another and forming bonds in a society that largely looks away. “When one of us has something, we share,” he says. “That’s how we survive. That’s our family now.”
BrosDoMatter NPO first encountered Sibeko in 2020. For six years, the organisation has known him not as a statistic, but as a man with a story, dignity and resilience. On Thursday, 25 December 2025, Sibeko will be one of the beneficiaries of the organisation’s sixth annual Christmas celebration at Church Square in Pretoria.
A day to restore dignity and remember those lost
The annual event is held in memory of the late Naboth Phineas Mokhulu Sibanyoni, founder of DA KLAN Foundation and co-founder of BrosDoMatter, who died from COVID-19-related complications during the height of the pandemic. Sibanyoni dedicated his life to community upliftment, particularly among marginalised men and boys, and those continuing his work say the celebration is about restoring dignity rather than offering fleeting charity.
During the event, homeless individuals will receive meals, clothing, blankets, food parcels, access to hygiene facilities, shelter referrals, educational support, and healthcare and counselling services. This year’s initiative is a collaborative effort between BrosDoMatter, DA KLAN Foundation, Dodo’s Wellness Spa, Harvest House Ministries South Africa and Lethabo La Khadi Foundation, with a particular focus on homeless men and boy child-headed families.
For Sibeko, Christmas is not about gifts. “It’s about being remembered,” he says. “Just to sit down, eat properly and feel like someone sees you.”
His wishes are simple. He hopes Sibanyoni’s widow, Emma Sibanyoni, receives more donations so that she can continue helping people living on the streets. He also hopes she teaches others to carry the work forward. “She won’t be here forever,” he says. “But if she teaches others, then the work won’t die. Then men like us won’t be forgotten.”
This Christmas, Sibeko will eat, rest and be treated as a human. For now, he says, “that is enough to help me keep going.”
Facing the silent pain men carry
Sibeko’s story reflects what BrosDoMatter describes as the unspoken truth about men’s suffering, Sibanyoni said. “Many men endure false accusations, family breakdown, denial of access to their children and financial or emotional coercion in silence. These experiences often escalate into trauma, mental health struggles, homelessness and substance dependence.”
She continued, “Because such stories do not fit dominant narratives of victimhood, they are frequently dismissed or ignored. BrosDoMatter exists to challenge that silence by creating spaces where men can speak openly and seek support without shame.”
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