When family courts silence and intimidate the very people they are meant to protect

• Survivors receive protective measures in criminal courts but must face alleged abusers directly in family courts.
• Trauma and intimidation can silence parents, affecting how their credibility and fitness are judged.
• Equal safeguards are needed to ensure family courts truly protect those they are meant to serve.

Just a few days ago, while scrolling through Facebook, I came across a post by Lisa Arterton titled “Children aren’t taken for no reason.” I did not expect it to leave me in tears, with a heavy, aching heart. Yet it did, because it spoke to a truth many are afraid to say out loud, the quiet unfairness embedded in parts of our justice system.

One point in particular struck me deeply. In criminal court proceedings, victims of abuse are often given the option to testify virtually or under protective measures, helping them feel safer and less intimidated by their perpetrators.

However, in family court proceedings, the very same victims, those who may have endured psychological, emotional, or financial abuse, are expected to sit face to face with their “abuser.” This contradiction is not just puzzling; it is harmful.

Intimidation inside the family court room

In family courts, victims are placed in an environment that can be deeply triggering and intimidating. They are forced to listen as their character is dismantled in front of magistrates and attorneys, often by someone who once exerted control over them. In such moments, it becomes nearly impossible to articulate one’s truth clearly or calmly. The anxiety, fear, and emotional weight silence voices that desperately need to be heard.

What makes this even more troubling is that these attacks are frequently framed not around actual parenting ability, but around ego, resentment, or unresolved personal conflict. A parent is labelled “unfit” not because they are, but because intimidation has rendered them unable to defend themselves effectively.

When confidence outweighs truth

This imbalance reveals a deeper flaw in how our justice system operates. Too often, procedures seem to favour those who are more confident, aggressive, or legally equipped rather than those who are truthful but traumatised. We see this reflected in cases where mothers lose custody of their children, not due to neglect or incompetence, but because fear and intimidation stripped them of their voice in court.

Compounding the issue is the reality that not all legal practitioners or family counsellors are adequately trained to recognise patterns of abuse and coercive control. Many are trained to weigh facts as they are presented, without sufficient consideration of how those facts are delivered or the power dynamics at play between the parties. Abuse, after all, does not always leave visible marks. It often hides in tone, posture, silence, and fear.

Why must protection be equal for survivors?

Justice should not depend on who speaks the loudest or who appears most composed under pressure. It must be fair across all courts, criminal and family alike. If signs of abuse or intimidation surface during family court proceedings, victims should be given the same protections offered in criminal cases, including the option to testify from a separate room or through virtual means.

Only then can we begin to create a system that truly listens, one that allows victims the freedom to speak their truth without fear and ensures that justice is not only done, but seen and felt by those who need it most.

Conviction.co.za

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