- Women’s Month cannot be reduced to symbolic gestures; systemic change and real reflection are needed.
- Violence against women is entrenched in power, control, and societal silence, not just individual acts.
- True progress requires collective action, beyond resilience, to transform families, institutions, and communities.
As August draws to a close, South Africa must ask itself an uncomfortable question: what does Women’s Month really mean when women continue to live with the fear of violence, intimidation, humiliation, and death?
Women’s Month cannot continue to be reduced to celebrations, conferences, flowers, and speeches. It should be a moment of national reflection on the lives of women we have lost, the women who continue to suffer in silence, and the social conditions that make such suffering possible.
South Africa is not at war in the conventional sense, yet many women experience their daily lives as though they are living in a war zone. This war is fought not on battlefields, but in homes, relationships, workplaces, schools, churches, and communities. Women are harmed by people they know, be it partners, relatives, colleagues, neighbours, and, sometimes, other women.
My research on domestic violence in Mamelodi Township has repeatedly brought me back to one fundamental issue of power and control. Violence cannot be understood simply as an individual act of anger or as the consequence of alcohol, poverty, or relationship conflict. It is also about who is permitted to exercise power over whom, and how control becomes normalised within intimate and social relationships.
We have also been too comfortable describing domestic violence as a “private” matter. My research in Mamelodi Township challenges this notion. Domestic violence does not necessarily remain behind closed doors.
It can be visible to neighbours, relatives, and communities, yet society often chooses not to intervene. Treating violence as a private affair allows a public social problem to remain hidden in plain sight.
Perhaps one of the greatest tragedies is that women have become experts in silence.
Strength and suffering
Women learn to remain silent in their homes, workplaces, churches, and communities because speaking out may be interpreted as disrespectful, disobedient, difficult, or culturally inappropriate. Some are taught to preserve relationships at the expense of their own well-being. Others are told to forgive, endure, and remain strong.
But why must strength always mean suffering? Women are expected to carry families, raise children, support partners, succeed professionally, care for others, and remain emotionally available to everyone. When their physical, emotional, or psychological well-being deteriorates under this burden, society often looks away.
Cycles of harm
We must also confront the uncomfortable reality that women can participate in the silencing and abuse of other women. A woman who has experienced exclusion may exclude another. A woman who has been bullied may become a bully.
A woman who has been silenced may silence another. Understanding this cycle does not excuse harmful behaviour; it reminds us that patriarchy and cultures of domination can be reproduced by anyone who acquires power.
This is why the struggle against gender-based violence cannot simply be reduced to men versus women. Men remain central to addressing the disproportionate violence perpetrated against women, but society must also examine the broader cultures, institutions, and relationships through which violence, silence, and domination are reproduced.
Building a safer future
As August closes, we must move beyond asking women to be resilient. Women should not have to be resilient simply to survive. We need families that teach respect rather than domination; schools that challenge harmful gender norms; workplaces that take harassment and bullying seriously; religious institutions that protect rather than silence the victims; and communities willing to intervene when violence is visible.
Most importantly, we need a culture in which women believe in other women. Let us say: I believe you. I hear you. You do not deserve this. You do not have to suffer in silence. Women’s Month should not end on 31 August. Its meaning must follow us into September and every month thereafter.
The measure of a democratic South Africa is not how beautifully we celebrate women for a single month, but how safely women can live for 12 months. As August closes, let us remember the women we have lost, not merely with sorrow, but with action.
Let us refuse to normalise violence. Let us refuse to protect perpetrators. Let us refuse to silence victims. And let us build a South Africa where being a woman does not require learning how to survive a war she never declared.
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The opinions expressed in this article are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Conviction.co.za
