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Home » Notes to my son who wants to be a writer, and will face enemies for it
Opinion

Notes to my son who wants to be a writer, and will face enemies for it

A letter about courage, writing with conscience, and the enemies of free expression 
Sandile MemelaBy Sandile MemelaAugust 4, 2025Updated:August 4, 2025No Comments
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Stephen Bantu Biko, anti-apartheid activist and Black Consciousness leader.
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  • Writing truthfully makes you vulnerable but never let fear dictate your voice. 
  • Critics, rivals and enemies often come disguised as supporters and friends. 
  • Your writing is a sacred act; let it speak for itself and let no one silence it. 

I have always known that my courage to be open and honest, to speak and write freely according to conscience, will make me vulnerable. Or make me enemies. But I cannot allow my critics, rivals and enemies to frighten me. Who the hell does not have rivals and enemies? 

Not everybody loved Brother Jesus. Steve Biko. Or Percy Qoboza. One always must be careful of those closest to you. There will always be those who scream loud to shout your name and praises in public. They listen to everything you say and read everything you write. They are trollers looking for gossip, a way to pierce your heart and soul. 

They don’t listen or read to understand. They are looking for an opening and opportunity to attack and assault your integrity. Watch out for wolves dressed in sheep’s skin. They are patiently waiting to push the dagger straight into your heart in public, for the whole world to see. 

The page as a place of liberation 

Since I was in high school at Immaculata in Diepkloof, I have always held an opinion and loved provocative writing. Much as my Irish English teacher loved to read my compositions to other classes and I put up my commentary on the school notice board, I was not looking for connection, affirmation or praise. 

My going public with my writing was a way to liberate my soul, to locate my place in the world of ideas. When you have written whatever you have written, the piece takes on its own life. You are not responsible for how critics, rivals, enemies and the public respond to it. 

You have no control over their thoughts and behaviour. They will react the way they will. Do not be surprised when your struggles, dreams and pain are twisted, distorted or mocked. Nobody who seeks attention at your expense is going to protect you or give you safety. They have nothing to say to the world except to criticise, condemn and mock you. Their agenda is to show how foolish you are. 

When they come for you, let them come 

Over the decade I have learned to not care about what others think of me. They are entitled to their opinions. Was it Wole Soyinka who once said, “If you don’t like my story, write your own”? Maybe. As Oscar Wilde said, to paraphrase him, the worst thing that can happen to a writer or their work is to not make people talk or think about it. 

When you have shared your pain about the death of a great philosopher like Noam Chomsky or Steve Biko, for example, and their impact on your psyche, not everybody will sympathise or love you for that. Not everybody you consider a friend or colleague or brother or peer wants the best for you. 

Be careful of those trollers. They will systematically and purposefully look for ways to cut you down to size. They will comb through what you write, not to understand, but to question and find fault. Let them waste their time if they will. They are neither truth-seekers nor are they curious. They are character assassins. 

Of course, they will follow your story and read you. But it is not to understand or to support you. They are not friends but fiends who will retell your story with their own twisted version. But you are not responsible for who they are or what they do. You did not create them. 

Don’t let their noise become your silence 

My two cents worth of advice to people who want to write is: do not change who you are. Do not be frightened. The critics are not acting on their own. They have handlers. They belong to a cabal or faction. They are on a mission. 

For them, freedom of thought and expression must not be allowed to blossom and flourish. Those who think, speak and write freely must be suppressed. They will attack your ego if you have one. Do not respond to dignify their nonsense. Keep your peace of mind. As you know, mental health is of paramount importance. 

Do not over-explain yourself to miserable folks who want to bring you down or undermine you. You don’t know what they have taken. Do not defend an opinion. People do not have to agree with or like what you write. So, do not elevate critics, rivals and enemies or exchange vulgarities with them over your writing. You have said what you have said. Let the writing speak and defend itself. 

Writing is my sacred covenant 

I am not sure if I am going to stop writing what I like. If I were, a part of my soul would die. So, I am not going to stop writing or doing commentary because I am afraid of what some people will think or say. I am going to tell you who I am and say what I think about what I think. 

I don’t invite people to read me. Those who do it, do it out of choice. And they are free to do or say what they will. What I know is that to protect my right to freedom of thought and expression, I must defend the right of those who do not like what I write to speak and write, too. 

So, I will not be intimidated. I pity and pray for those who insult me. They are not my problem. We can only hope that they will heal themselves. 

My writing is my sacred act. Most probably, it is my covenant with God. As my former boss Percy Qoboza once said, “If my writing keeps you awake at night, then I am glad.” 

Sometimes I think harsh criticism of one’s writing is necessary to test one’s courage and resilience. Journalists and writers must grow a hard skin. But no one has the right to insult you or be vulgar. If you insult others in retaliation, you are wrestling with pigs in the mud. You won’t win. Just walk away. 

These days when I am silent, some people ask why I no longer write. There are a few people out there who enjoy my writing. They make me want to share whatever little life experience I have with humanity. 

Let us be clear: I will not be silenced. I am not scared. Whenever I feel like it, I will say what I want to say. I am not afraid to express an opinion. My writing may be nonsense to some. So what? You cannot please all the people all the time. 

If you want to think, reflect and write freely according to conscience, I urge you to do so. No fear. Freedom of expression and the right to question authority are the cornerstone of democracy. Think, speak and write if you must. Or forever hold your peace.  

Conviction.co.za 

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conscience fatherhood freedom of expression resilience writing advice
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Sandile Memela

Journalist, writer, cultural critic, and polemicist. He has worked for City Press and Sunday World and written for most newspapers in a career that spans decades. He has been a public servant since 2005.

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